Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Rant Series - On Being 40 & Female

I'll be 40 on December 5th. Changes (or is it "The Change"?) have made me rather...snippy. So.
Rant Series - ON BEING 40 AND FEMALE

*warning - this may contain some TMI, especially for the male gender. You menfolk may not want to read this entry.

40 is old. Well, it seems old. I've been in peri-menopause for years, sliding down into pre-menopause with horrifying ease.

I've always had bad periods - cramps, nausea, heavy bleeding, irregular periods, headaches, breast tenderness, back aches, irritability, bloating, mood swings, tiredness, vomiting.

Now I've added a whole new batch of symptoms to the list: leg aches, night chills, night sweats, hot flashes, migraines, irritable bowels, smell, taste and hearing sensitivity. And, just for good measure, certain things have grown worse: back aches, mood swings, cramps, tiredness.


I would like to know how all this contributes to evolution, I really would. Making me hate being female for a goodly portion of every month - making me moody and tired and bloated and vomiting are NOT good ways to attract a mate. The "I have a headache" can only work so much before it becomes tiresome to the male.

This is evolution's way of telling me I should not, in fact, breed. There is something in my biological makeup that is screaming out to be heard: "Warning! Keep away from this female! She is damaged goods! No good genes to pass on!" Seriously. I think all these troubles are an evolutionary adaptation to keep me, and women like me, from breeding. No man is going to put up with this bullshit long enough to mate with us - I barely can, and I'm LIVING it!

And the worst part? It doesn't get any better than this. Every year that passes will be WORSE. Until I can't physically breed anymore. "Post-menopause". Then what good am I? Soylent Green is people!
I went through my whole life for...what? No mate; no love; no offspring; lots and lots of pain and blood.

Hardly seems evolutionary. I should be proud, maybe. I'm ANTI-evolutionary. I'm here to make sure that men breed with other, more genome-fit women, and ones like me die off. Survival of the species at it's best! So, hey. I guess I do serve a purpose. No pain, no gain, eh?
To the survival of Humankind!!
You can thank me later.

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