01.01.Omy - 1/1/05

From JC - 1/1/05 - 01.01.OMY

I've been up for something like 30 hour now.
I just got in.
Forgive any typos...I'm still a little dranked and a lot tired.

NYE was OK. I managed to piss off Jack to such an extent that he left around 8.30 PM and didn't come back all nite.
Yay me.
I gave many back rubs to many ppl. My hands and wrists are sore.
Even w/the many JacknCokes, I can still feel how sore my hands and wrists are.

I had a donut. It was good.

Sean....
*sigh*
He so disappointed me. I did NOT want to ring in the new year with tears, but I did.

I don't ask for much, ever. Very little, in fact. I hate asking for anything from anyone.
I asked Sean one thing. ONE THING.
Please, please, please come downstairs (he lives above Lucky's) right before midnite and give me my Midnite Kiss.
He PROMISED he would.

He didn't.

He came in around 1.30, with another girl and her b/f...sat at the opposite end of the bar..ignored me....then, came over to me about an hour and a half later, and kissed me on the cheek. I ignored it and just lit up a smoke. He got pissed and stormed out.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make him mad, but I was (and am) so hurt.
I know it sounds so stupid. Whothehell cares about a stupid kiss on NYE?
I'm 36, and just once in my life, I'd've liked a NYE Midnite Kiss from a guy.
I didn't think it was too much to ask the universe for.
Apparently, it was.
Not getting one brought me to tears, which is also stupid on my part.
It's not a big deal to anyone except me. I put waaaayyyy too much stock in it. But I can't help it.
Just once, please, can I start a new year with a smile instead of tears?
I only wanted to feel that someone cared enough, and nobody does. Not even my "friend" Sean.
I called him after he stormed off, and tried to explain, but just hung up after a few words. He hasn't tried to call me back, either.
So I guess I now know where I stand.

I'm goimg to bed. I need sleep.

Calming Down, But Still Bitchy - 12/31/04

From JC - 12/31/04 - Calming Down, But Still Bitchy
(I'd typed up a whole entry, which took a while, and JC "lost" it)

OK, I've settled down a bit.
This entry is going to be nowhere near as long or detailed as the one I lost.....

I ended up going to Lucky's last nite. Sandy was working the bar, and Karen was there, gettin' dranked. Poor girl..it's been a tough couple weeks for her: Last week, her b/f got arrested for attacking JT (Lucky's weekend 3rd shift bartender), this week, she had to call the cops to arrest of friend of hers for drunk & disorderly on her shift, and last of all, her cat died.
Actually, she still had the small container with her at the bar. She had just come from picking up the kittie's remains, and needed a drink...or several.
Poor thing.

Then Boo came in for his shift, and Sandy left.

Sean came in after work. He was in a horrid, angry, crappy mood, too. I plied him with beer and shots of Jameson's until he calmed down enough to go home to bed.
Arienne is out of town visiting her son, so he promised he'd come in the bar tonite and give me my Midnite Kiss.

I've decided to wear a black velvet blouse with silver glitter designs on it, a tank top underneath, black pants and my black pointy-toed shoes. Black & White is traditional NYE wear. It's sorta dressy and sorta not. Nobody in Lucky's dresses up. It's your traditional neighborhood dive bar.

It's going to be 76 degrees here today, going down to 58 tonite.

I don't have much to do, other than go to the grocery for some cheese and some paper plates.

Sometimes, I think Lucky's is really my bar, since I'm the one that does everything (or anything) fun around there.
I'M the one that bought the party favors, champagne glasses, masks, beads, bubbles (for the bubble machine), etc.
I'M the one that's bringing food and appetizers.
I'M the one that's going there early to decorate the joint.
Do you think anyone chipped in money...or will come and help me set up? NO! Not even Boo, the manager. Ugh.
Sometimes, I wonder why I bother.
Then I remember: I want to have fun, and in order to do that, I've gotta be the one that provides the fun stuff.

I'm bringing my own champagne, too. I can't stand that cheap-ass "sparkling wine" shite they serve. Champagne should be CHAMPAGNE.
In case you're wondering: Vueve-Clicquot Ponsardin. It's a Brut, produced in Reims, France.
Better than that Moet & Chandon crap, or (gods forbid) Martini & Rossi. Or Cold Duck, of all the.....
I'd rather drink sparkling cider than that stomach-churning poison.

I know that all prolly sounds horridly pretentious, but ya know what? I don't care. Champagnes and wines should be done properly, or not at all.

I have so few rules in my life....I need to stick to the few I do have. Heh.

Have a safe and happy new year, everyone.